Used Condom Found In Restaurant Salad Bar; Waiter Embarrassed To Tears

Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy restaurant salad bar in Detroit last week, embarrassing not only the perpetrators, but nearly everyone associated with the company.

Apparently, Mike Finney and Rhonda Carrion were working together to close down the restaurant's soup, salad and dessert bar and, with no one else around, culminated a night of flirting with sexual intercourse right on the bar. Witnesses said they'd been flirting almost the entire shift, and that it was just a matter of time before this happened.

"I speak for the entire company," said Big Boy spokesman, Bob Shue, "when I say that we are completely, totally, and unequivocally embarrassed at this whole situation. I mean, did you see how small that condom was. Nobody could possibly have a penis that small..."

Added Shue, "This really gives Big Boy a bad name."

The condom was found by the morning set up crew who initially mistook the prophylactic for a pencil erasure. The incident was immediately reported to the kitchen supervisor. "I didn't know what the hell it was at first," he said. "I thought it was a chewed-up chicklet."

Due to the incident, two of the original employees on the scene requested the rest of the day off because they are reportedly still on the break room floor, rolling around with uncontrollable laughter.

"I didn't think we served shrimp until Friday," said one doubled-over employee. "The toothpicks are supposed to be at the front door. I just peed my pants..."

Finney was unavailable for comment due to the fact that he was reportedly extremely shaken up, and "crying like a little girl." Adding to his predicament, he faces a mandatory write-up, and the possibility of up to a three-day suspension.

"Rhonda is who I really feel bad for," said Shue, "I offered her paid leave, but she wants to work through this...poor thing."

Carrion did, however, release a brief statement offering an apology to everyone involved, saying that she was "totally embarrassed" and "completely unaware we even had sex."

After over 12 years as a waiter and bartender, Dennis Rymarz walked completely away from the business and launched Don't Tip the Waiter, a one-of-a-kind satirical publication that reports fictional news and events from the restaurant industry.

Initially intended specifically for servers and bartenders, the publication is now read by a rapidly growing audience that includes just about anyone who goes out to eat.

Don't Tip the Waiter is distributed free-of-charge to bars and restaurants in the Detroit area, and can be read on line at http://donttipthewaiter.com

Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, Raise

While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of... Read More

I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Before I was Born

I will start this by saying that yes, I did... Read More

Finding Lost Children

A couple of days ago I had to go to... Read More

Valet Parking: Theft with Consent

This column is long overdue. To put it in library... Read More

Got Originality?

There are many ways to be original these days. But... Read More

Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories

Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital... Read More

The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players

Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst... Read More

The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing Breach

The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time... Read More

Essential Laughter

Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in... Read More

Used Condom Found In Restaurant Salad Bar; Waiter Embarrassed To Tears

Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy... Read More

Humor Under The Keyboards

For me, the piano is the symbol of what is... Read More

He Had It Coming, Your Honor

This past week as Mr. Man and I lounged around... Read More

Poor Rixs Almanac 8-27-05

Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food?... Read More

How I Spent my Summer Vacation

One of the best parts of a vacation is the... Read More

New Orleans First to Experience Housing Bubble Burst

Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in... Read More

Cheer-Leadership or All I Need to Know About Business I Learned from Cheerleading

Thanks to teen movies, many people have this stereotypical idea... Read More

The Zapp Principle

My dad's lab was a mess, but then it was... Read More

Maybelle Misfire Joins Mega Corp

To: Maybelle Misfire From: I. M.. Power, VP Welcome aboard!... Read More

Short Story: Take a Trip To The Temple Of The Great Tomato

Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer.... Read More

Beyond Black and White

Over visiting a neighbor the other day?"Would you like a... Read More